And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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