I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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