Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
