I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
