i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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