If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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