i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
