This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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