is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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