i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
