party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
