I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
