Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize