Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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