so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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