just survived the first fart of the relationship.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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