And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
