why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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