Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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