one two three fourrrrnication!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
