it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
third nipple confirmed
When are your genitals available?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
