Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
