nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize