You work out of a Hotel?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
