Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
