Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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