White coat. Heels.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
