No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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