Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize