Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
