the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
