YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize