we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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