and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
