I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
