i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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