Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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