Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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