This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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