Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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