Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
