I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
