to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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