So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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