if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
