this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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