I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i came on her dog
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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