I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
