My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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