I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
