i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
