No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
