what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
