Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
