On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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