I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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