I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
